Romance scams: warning signs and what to do if you paid
Checked by The Proofmark editorial team against our methodology before publishing
The Proofmark · Our methodology
Need the meaning first? Read the short definition.
What is a romance scam?
Someone builds a false relationship to gain your trust, then asks for money. The contact may begin on a dating app or social media.
The FTC's warning about online romance describes frequent chats followed by a request for cash. The story may involve travel, illness or an urgent bill.
There is no fixed timetable. You do not need to wait for a second request before taking a pause.
Which requests should make me stop and check?
Watch for a request to pay for a flight, a hospital bill or a visa. The person may say that only you can help.
They may ask for gift card codes, a transfer or crypto. A request to keep the payment secret adds to the concern.
The FTC's romance scam guide describes these stories and payment methods. One detail alone is not a full investigation, but it is enough to stop a payment and check.
How can I check someone I met online?
Talk to a person you trust before sending money. Show them the request, not just the friendly parts of the chat.
Search the profile photo to see where else it appears. You may find the same picture under a different name. No match does not prove the person is genuine.
Check whether the name, work story and reasons for not meeting fit together. A photograph or a call alone does not settle whether a money request is honest.
The FBI's romance scam guidance also warns about pressure to leave an app, avoid friends or share private information.
What should I do if I already sent money?
- Stop sending money while you check the story.
- Contact your bank or the service used to pay. Explain that you may have been tricked.
- Ask whether it can stop, recall or challenge the payment.
- Keep the profile link, messages, receipts and recipient details. Report the profile to the app, then block the person.
If you used a gift card, contact its issuer. If you sent crypto, contact the exchange or service used to send it.
Tell the provider whether you approved the transfer yourself. Your country, timing and payment method affect what help is available. A refund is not certain.
Australia's Moneysmart response guide explains why prompt contact matters. For card payments, read our chargeback explainer.
What if they want to use my bank account?
Do not receive and forward money for an online partner. If a transfer has already arrived, contact your bank before moving or returning it.
The FBI warns that this request can draw you into moving money from other fraud. Being told it is a favour does not make it safe.
What if they want me to invest instead?
That needs a different set of checks. A trading account showing profits does not prove that you can withdraw real money.
Our guide to relationship investment scams covers this pattern. It can start with friendship as well as romance.
How can I help a family member?
Start with the payment, rather than an argument about the relationship. You could say: “Let's check this request together before any more money leaves.”
Offer to sit with them while they contact their bank. Avoid blame. The aim is to make the next safe step easier.
Need someone to talk it through with?
Request a free call. Tell us your country, what the person asked for and how you paid. We can help you understand the warning signs and your next steps.
You do not need to prove it was a scam before asking. If money has just left your account, contact your bank before waiting for our callback.
Sources
Where to go in your country
Scams cross borders. The people who can do something about them do not. Choose your country below, or change it if our guess is wrong.
Choose your country to see local contacts. If it is not listed, you can ask our team for help.
🇬🇧 The United Kingdom
🔎 Check the firm
FCA Firm Checker — Search the firm name, its website, or the reference number it gave you.
🚨 Report it
Report Fraud (City of London Police) — Report online or call 0300 123 2040. In Scotland, call Police Scotland on 101.
↩ Ask for your money back
Financial Ombudsman Service — Complain to the firm first, then bring it here. Free, and it can order the firm to pay.
Every address above was opened and checked by us on 30 September 2026. Tell us if one has moved.
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